Officer & A Lady
by Bigby
Summary: She hears the words echo in her mind as if she had said them yesterday "Brittany will always be my girlfriend" and can't help but feel like a liar. Quinntana at heart with guest appearances by the rest of WMHS's New Directions.
1. Waving

a/n: Hello there, thought I would take a crack at a little Quinntana fic. I've had this plot bunny hopping around in my head and figured I would finally get to writing it. So, yes it is a Quinntana, although there is a bit of Brittana in the first chapter and sort of scattered through out because it fits with what I'm doing. I've always loved the idea of Santana as a cop something about the bullywhips sort of brought me to the idea. So as long as you don't mind AU and you like Quinntana we'll get along…. R/R makes my world go round….

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

._It was time to do something for her, because God it had been so long since she really knew the woman she was living with and for the most part, she tried to remember the last time she cared._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

This was just not her night. Long tan arms stretched high above her head as she sat at her desk reading and re-reading her last report of the night.

It wouldn't have been such a pain in the ass if the guy hadn't claimed police brutality, but really?

If you're gonna make aunty Snix chase you ten blocks down a crowded Manhattan street and not expect an ass whooping you've got another thing coming.

Santana sighed deeply and flipped to the inside of her wrist to check the time

10:45

Fuck.

She was late, again.

She submitted her report and locked up her desk for the night rushing to the locker room. Hastily stripping out of her uniform and not bothering to tie her boots as she lumbered out of the lockers.

"Whoa, Lopez where's the fire amiga?"

"Fuck, hey Tony, no fire just really fuckin' late"

She rushed passed him and sped down the stairs and out the doors of the precinct;

Britt was gonna kill her.

Santana barely made it as she slipped through the subway doors just as they were closing, inwardly smirking at the small triumph that she was afforded after a long day.

Her train rides were some of her favorite pleasures; it was her time to reflect on her day and her life thus far, had she done her job to the best of her ability? Had she protected and served the way she had been taught?

Her obsessive need to protect those close to her hidden behind a razor sharp wit and an ice cold glare, because she would be damned if others knew her weakness.

It was this need that had pushed her into pursuing a career as a police officer. What better way to keep those she loved safe than becoming a cop, because the way she saw it, everyone deserved protection from the dark things in this cold and miserable world.

She power walked down the street, flipping her wrist inward to check how late she really was.

She was two hours late…

If Brittany didn't have such a massive hatred for guns Santana was convinced that she would have shot her with her own service weapon by now.

Thank God for small mercies.

Santana rushed into the local bar, immediately spotting Brittany, her hair was up in a high ponytail and her fingers were wrapped around a half full tumbler of something red, more than likely vodka and cranberry juice.

She took tentative steps towards her and placed a gentle hand to Brittany's shoulder.

"Hey Britt Britt."

Brittany turned to Santana and gave her a dark look. Brittany stood abruptly dropped some money onto the bar top and walked past Santana and out of the bar.

Sighing deeply and surrendering herself to the tirade she was going to receive she followed behind her girlfriend.

The journey to their apartment was a silent one. Brittany kept an almost palpable distance between them, filled with her anger and frustration towards Santana.

She knew tonight was important, and it wasn't like this had been the first date night she had been late for. Last week Santana hadn't even showed up.

All Brittany had gotten was a short apologetic text about having to work late and that she would make it up to her later, well it was later and Brittany was still waiting.

Brittany unlocked the door and walked into their little one bedroom apartment not bothering to hold the door for Santana.

Leaving the place in darkness she stomped into their bedroom stripped out of her tank top and skirt and hastily threw on some sweats and her UCLA hoodie.

Santana slowly walked into the room as Brittany flipped on the bedside lamp her back to Santana hands on her hips as she stared out the window. Santana leaned against the far wall her arms folded across her chest and counted down from three…

Three…

Two…

One…

With red rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks Brittany faced a girl she no longer recognized.

Brittany took in a deep breath and let it out as a shaky sigh as tears continued to fall from her eyes.

Santana made a move to comfort her but Brittany took a step back and held her hand up, Santana stood frozen with bated breath for Brittany to say something, anything.

Even if she already knew what was going to come out of Brittany's mouth.

She still needed to hear it.

It was the reason she always had a duffel bag packed and stuffed in the back of their closet next to her work bag.

It was the reason only one name was on the lease of their apartment.

It was the reason they hadn't been intimate in nearly six months.

"Are you in love with me, Santana?"

And she didn't even have the guts to look her in the eyes when she remained silent.

a/n: Oh hi there, Bigby here, wondering if you would like to come on future au journey with me. Yes? Ok wonderful there's a review button somewhere around here I'd appreciate it if you would use it and come back real soon for chapter two.


	2. Coward

a/n: I'm never going to get used to the way ffn formats their documents. Anyways, hope you've decided to stick around and see what happens. And for future reference because I always seem to forget, I own nothing but a cat an incomplete (barely) college diploma and a few scattered ideas about the sanctity of love, compassion and the integrity of a good person…and the rating is T for language mostly I will give fare warning when and if I decide that a chapter or two deserves a higher rating.

_._

_.._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_The voice in her head screamed the word 'coward' at her, and who was she to fault such a truth, because she knew, on some level she had always been, a coward._

Santana's eyes did not leave the scuffed wood of their bedroom floor. She was afraid of what she would find in the eyes of a woman she had known her entire life, in the last five years she had somehow lost track of who this woman was. So here she stood leaning against the wall beside their bedroom door hands behind her back gaze fixed to the floor as Brittany looked at her with a hard stare.

"Answer me Santana"

No words came out, just a slow almost unperceivable shake of her head.

_Coward_

"No you won't answer me, or no you're not in love with me"

Santana shrugged her shoulders feebly, she felt like shit. Because even though she knew, inherently knew that Brittany knew how she felt about her she still needed to hear it. The same way Santana needed to hear that Brittany knew; Brittany needed to hear how Santana felt. And how did Santana feel exactly? When was the last time Santana had felt that pull deep in her gut when she saw Brittany? Whose face hovered behind tired eye lids during a long day at work?

Santana cleared her throat and finally raised her gaze to Brittany's. Brittany, with tear stains down her cheeks and an ice cold stare, her jaw was set and her hands were curled into fists at her sides. Brittany's body language screamed attack. But it was the subtle slump of her shoulders and the small quake in her jaw that told Santana that she wasn't going to fight her. The fight had left Brittany a long time ago, when Santana had missed her fifth dinner or had not bothered to come home at all.

"I…I'm..."

Santana pleaded at Brittany with her eyes, 'don't make me say it…please'. Santana sighed a watery sigh, she didn't know when she had started crying; maybe it was between Brittany asking her if she was in love with her and her calling herself a coward.

"I want to hear that you're not in love with me Santana"

Brittany had always been a very smart girl. She just didn't feel the need to let everyone else in on that fact. When Santana had graduated and left for Columbia consequently leaving Brittany behind, she knew that they were on borrowed time. This fact was confirmed when Santana didn't come home for Thanksgiving, she had said that classes and training were really intense and that she couldn't make it home.

She had come home for Christmas however, and immediately when Santana walked through the gate and saw her, Brittany had felt the difference. Santana wasn't the same girl that had left Lima Ohio four months ago. Her kisses were different; the way she stood was different, even the way she smelled was different.

But Santana seemed none the wiser to these changes. The Glee club reunion that Christmas had them all exchanging hugs and kisses, stories about college and horrid room mates Brittany had graduated from McKinley that winter, having made up her classes over the summer and the fall semester.

_They sat in Santana's car in the driveway of her parent's house in silence. Santana stared ahead not really seeing. _

"_I'm proud of you Britt"_

_Brittany smiled and took Santana's right hand in both of hers kissing her knuckles affectionately. She chose her next words very carefully,_

"_Now I can come to New York"_

_Santana's head jerked to look at her. And Brittany knew, she wasn't going to New York. Santana just gave her girlfriend a weak smile and started the car. The ride to Breadstixx was silent, and Brittany wondered when they had run out of things to say to each other._

Brittany silently filed away Santana's failure to acknowledge the fact that she was now free to come to New York. Now; so far away from that Christmas in Lima, Brittany wondered if she should have said something. She stood in front of Santana now, dignity be damned because she was crying again, sobbing really because she had known and decided that feigning ignorance was better than the truth.

"When you asked me to move here after I graduated I said yes. I left my job, and my dance company for you. The least you can do is be honest with me now"

Santana sighed, and made sure to look, really look into those deep blue eyes; she wanted to remember this moment. The moment that she had willingly hurt the most innocent woman she had ever known.

"I'm not in love with you"

Brittany pursed her lips and nodded sadly. And then cradled Santana's left cheek in her hand and placed the gentlest kiss to her right cheek.

"Thank you"

She whispered into Santana's ear and dropped the duffel bag that Santana kept packed and hidden in the back of their closet at her feet. She walked past Santana out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. Hearing the door click shut behind her Santana's eyes closed and she swallowed thickly. She shouldered the bag and left the apartment.

She was lucky she hadn't fallen to her death on this thing. She thought to herself as she gave the window in front of her another hard bang. Santana had climbed up to the second floor of the Brooklyn Brownstown with her duffel bag slung over her shoulder and a half full forty of bourbon. The window slid up to reveal a bare chested Puckerman scowling at her.

"The fuck Lopez, do you know what time it is?"

Puck sniffed the air around her and his scowl turned into shock,

"Are you drunk?"

Santana tossed her bag into his living room and sat back on the steps of Puck's fire escape taking a long drink from her bottle. She grinned a stupidly and then almost immediately burst into tears. Puck's eyes softened and he joined her, sitting beside her and letting her head rest on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her. Puck kissed the top of her head and sighed deeply.

He let the woman cry herself out and then helped her inside. She was reluctant to part with her precious bourbon so he left her with it as he led her to his room. He sat stone faced in the lounge chair in the far corner of his room while Santana slept fitfully. He woke her the next morning with a bottle of ice water to the face. Santana spluttered awake and had him on his stomach wrists interlocked behind his back in seconds.

"Are you nuts Puckerman?"

Santana restrained him tighter while he just laughed.

"You have work in an hour, get off me, shower and I'll make you some food"

She let him go, but not without a smack to the back of the head. She stood under the hot spray of the shower palms against the tiles her head hung low tears streaming down her cheeks. Because for a glorious few seconds she thought it was just a dream. The pounding headache and the cotton mouth feeling told her otherwise.

Brittany had kicked her out. She had thanked her for telling her that she wasn't in love with her and then dropped her bag at her feet before locking herself in the bathroom. A broken sob escaped Santana's mouth as she slipped down the shower stall wall to sit with her arms wrapped around her knees as she cried. She didn't bother pushing Puck away when he slipped in to sit behind her, fully clothed and held her while she cried. Santana held on to the man for dear life even though she knew she didn't deserve the kindness.

She had let herself live a lie for six months. Constantly ignoring what her gut told her. It was true that when Britt had graduated that summer Santana had begged Brittany to move up to New York. Out loud, she said it was because she missed her girl friend. But behind closed doors, moments when she could sit alone or with Puck and be absolutely honest with herself she knew the real reason she had asked Brittany to move to New York.

It was her constant need to ignore the gaping cavern that was the relationship she had with Brittany, how they couldn't hold a conversation any more or the fact that Brittany had not so subtly told Santana how she felt about her job.

"I just don't understand why you can't go to law school San, why do you need to be a cop?"

How could Brittany not understand that the fundamental belief that Santana held was that she was meant to protect the people around her, what good was law school going to do? No she wanted to prevent crimes from happening, not prove that they had been committed in front of a jury.

Her cries quieted and Puck was now aware of a) the cold water hitting his back and

b) Santana was naked. He started chuckling at first, a full bellied chuckle that shook Santana while he still had his arms around her. He sat back in the shower and let the cold spray hit Santana in the face and started to really laugh. She smacked him and stood up hands on her hips to give him a verbal smack down despite her state of undress making Puck only laugh harder. She looked down at herself, ashamed of nothing because she was Santana fucking Lopez and got caught up in the situation. Because if she didn't start laughing she was certain her guilt would destroy her.

Santana rubbed at her tired eyes from behind the wheel of her squad car. She had pretty much moved in with Puck since that night. She hadn't been back to the apartment she shared with Brittany in nearly a week. She was going to need to bite the bullet soon though she was running out of clothes.

She pulled up to the address her and her partner Tony had been given in the domestic disturbance call and nodded at him as they walked up to the small house. The windows were boarded up and the yard was in general disrepair along with the rest of the neighborhood. She kept her left hand on her weapon by her hip and knocked on the front door Tony right behind her.

"Police, we received a 911 call from this address"

Silence and then a loud smash followed by irate yelling Tony tapped Santana on the shoulder and she kicked the door in, service weapon at the ready, she saw the guy bolt out the back door, she and Tony cleared the house before Santana took off.

"They always run, why do they always have to run?!"

She caught up with a bear of a man who was too big for his own good. Santana managed to take him down with a bit of a brawl but had him in the back of the squad car kicking at the steel cage between the front and back seats.

"Hey! Knock it off back there, for's I hog tie you!"

Tony came back to the car while another pair of officers took witness and victim statements.

"Nice one Lopez, looks like he got you good there"

Tony pointed to Santana's lip and she checked it in the rearview mirror. Sure enough she had a split lip and a cut along her eyebrow. She shrugged and turned to Tony with a smirk,

"Don't worry Tony, I'll live"

Santana smiled wickedly at Tony as she started the engine and drove back to the precinct yelling at the perp in the back seat every time he kicked the cage or cursed something fierce at his arresting officer.

Santana unlocked the door to her old apartment quietly, it was after two in the morning and she didn't want to chance waking Brittany. She need not have worried. Even in the dim light afforded by the moon through the bay window in the living room she could hear the vast echo of silence in the empty apartment.

She walked around flipping on every light in every room. A place that had once seemed too small now seemed endless. The rest of Santana's things sat packed neatly on a bare mattress with a note taped to them.

_Hey Sanny, _

_The rent is paid up till the end of the month; I know you've been staying with Puck. I'm going back to Los Angeles. My dance company told me I still had a spot with them if I ever needed it. Know San, that I love you and I always have, and I know that even though you aren't _ in _love with me, that you still love me, and that's why you didn't want to tell me. Be safe San, and please be careful._

_Love, Britt._

Santana looked around one final time and despite not wanting to accept it, she did admit that Britt had done the right thing, the best thing for both of them. She loaded the rest of her things into Puck's truck which she had borrowed to grab the rest of her things and left the key in the super's mail slot.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

a/n: Another Brittana chapter I know…but I'm not apologizing, because this is a story and stories have working parts and bits that form a whole…so stay with me….it will all work out in the end.


	3. Salad

a/n: well it looks about that time for a chapter, bare with me because I'm still trying to flesh out their characters a bit so read and review you can flame me, but I don't know what good that's gonna do you…

* * *

_Life goes on when you realize you're not holding your breath waiting for the other shoe to drop anymore…_

* * *

Santana danced around on the balls of her feet, fists up on the defence as she attacked the boxing bag. Her break-up with Brittany hadn't killed her as she thought it would, instead she felt more like herself lately. She hated to think that they were holding each other back.

Don't get her wrong Brittany was, is an amazing woman but she just never gave Santana the understanding she needed as they grew older. And for Brittany's benefit neither did Santana. Santana lost count of the times they would go out to a bar or club and Santana would want to strangle man and woman alike who would even try to make eyes Brittany's way.

It had been a few months since Brittany had left for Los Angeles. And they were okay. And although they were no longer together they had come to accept that there was no questioning that they loved each other. Santana had realized the true demise of their relationship had never been one solitary thing. But the culmination of many things, one of them being that they were always headed in two different directions and no amount of love was going to change that.

Santana finished her work out and showered quickly. She had lunch plans with Blaine.

Santana walked into the little cafe slipping off her sunglasses and slipping them into the inner pocket of her jacket.

"What?"

Santana fixed him with a look and he just smiled wider,

"You really don't see it do you, the girl at the counter is practically undressing you with her eyes Santana"

Santana took a subtle glance at the girl at the counter and indeed she was definitely checking her out. Santana just smirked and leaned back in her chair.

"It's the badge and she looks like she's twelve, ew"

Blaine rolled his eyes and they ordered.

"So how's it living with Puck? You know if you ever need, you can stay with me and Kurt, we would love to have you"

"I know that, and thank you, it's just Puck is a cop so he gets it when I don't come home or I come home at weird hours. He gets me and I need that right now"

Blaine just nodded and smiled as he picked at his Cobb salad. They made more small talk about work and school. Blaine was getting his Master's in Education and Kurt was currently in rehearsals with Rachel.

And then there was Q.

Santana and Quinn's relationship had always been, different. In high school it was always a frenemy type of competition between them. But when Santana came out and her relationship with Brittany had become even more serious they had become best friends again.

They had grown up, and their goals weren't the same as they were when they were fourteen. After graduation Quinn left for New Haven and Santana et al for New York, they hadn't seen each other as much or at all really. So now that Quinn was doing her residency at St. Luke's they were able to pick up where they left off, only thing was that they hadn't.

They weren't two thirds of the unholy trinity anymore they were just Quinn and Santana two good friends who were also good friends with Rachel, Kurt, Puck, Blaine and the rest of their rowdy crew.

Quinn had sort of slipped away while she was at Yale. Sure she would call or e-mail every so often but had yet to return to Lima. She made damn sure that once she got her free ride out she wouldn't set foot back into that little town unless it was absolutely necessary, Holidays were not necessary enough, and since there hadn't been a death, birth or marriage (yet) she stayed the hell away from Lima Ohio.

Quinn had kept it to herself when she got her residency at St. Luke's. She would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for Santana.

_Quinn sat in the doctor's lounge flipping through a medical journal head resting on her left hand. She yawned wide and blinked a few times wondering if she had taken out the garbage that morning. It was the second month into her residency and she pretty much had it down. She cited good work ethic and her addiction to coffee which she drank like water._

_There was a loud commotion out by the nurses station, Quinn rolled her eyes and figured she better go and check it out, being one of the attending physicians and all. She stepped out in time to see a man handcuffed and making a scene in the waiting room of the ER. His t-shirt was torn and bloody and he looked like someone had worked him over pretty well. _

"_This is fucking ridiculous! I'm fucking bleeding here man do something!"_

_The man struggled against his cuffs and the hold the officer had on him while the officer stood talking to a nurse by the nurses' station. Quinn's eyes travelled over the police officer obviously female dressed in street clothes, black cargos and a grey NYPD t-shirt her badge hung around her neck and her hands were encased in black riot gloves. Her dark hair was pulled into a tight ponytail and before Quinn had the chance to let her eyes do more lecherous staring, the officer was turning around prisoner in tow walking towards her._

_Santana._

_Right Santana was a cop in this district._

_Santana's eyes widened but she kept her cool, _

"_Hey there doc, do you think you could patch this asshole up? Wouldn't want him dying of an infection before we book'em."_

_Quinn nodded and led them to a trauma room._

Quinn received an e-mail from Santana that night, berating her for not telling her she was in the city, and that they were to have dinner immediately. Quinn agreed and the next night had them at a little out of the way Mexican place, cheesy red candles in cheesy green bottles.

"_So, Lucy Q, please explain to me why you've been in New York for six weeks and haven't told any body…"_

_Santana got right to the point as she stuffed a forkful of Chili Relleno into her mouth. Quinn sipped her beer, stalling for a moment. Santana chewed and raised an eyebrow at the woman in front of her._

"_Because I've been so busy San, and you guys would wanna hang out all the time and I just can't right now…"_

"_Do you not love us any more Q?"_

_Quinn smiled, at Santana's wide eyed look and took a bite of her food,_

"_I love you guys just fine, but everything happened so fast and by the time I was here I just didn't want it to be a big deal"_

_Quinn's eyes pleaded with Santana to understand where she was coming from. Quinn was caught off guard by the warmth and compassion she found there, Santana had definitely changed since she had seen her last._

"_If you say so Q, but we haven't seen you in like five years, emails and phone calls only do so much"_

"_Well then I guess it was fate that you walked in to my ER then isn't it?"_

_They smiled at each other and clinked beer bottles in a salute to their fates and finished their dinner. Santana made Quinn promise to attend Sunday dinner which was being held at her and Puck's_

"_You're still living with Puck?"_

_Santana nodded as they walked down the street, and didn't pull away when Quinn wrapped her arms around Santana's right as they walked. Quinn's pale blue sundress flowing around her knees in the summer breeze, _

"_Yeah, it might be awhile before I get my own place, it's just easier this way, I can save money and he get's free beer, win, win"_

_Santana walked Quinn home and jumped on the subway the one stop to her own apartment, she burst through the door to find Puck playing Xbox in his recliner a six pack at his feet. Santana grabbed a beer and flopped onto the couch sighing audibly. She sighed three times taking pulls from her beer._

"_Okay, you're doing that girl thing where you sigh because you want me to pay attention and it's annoying…what's wrong with you?"_

"_I saw Q"_

_Puck got sniped in the head and didn't even care as he tossed the Xbox controller aside,_

"_As in Lucy Q Quinn Fabray Q?"_

_Santana nodded,_

"_She's in New York, we had dinner it was….nice"_

_Puck smirked at Santana's tone of voice as she said 'nice'_

"_Was it a date?"_

"_No Puckerman it wasn't a date, remember Q and I have known each other for years"_

"_Yeah and you've had a thing for her lady parts even before you had a thing for Brittany's…so you going out on another date?"_

_Santana whipped him in the face with a pillow and grabbed another beer…_

Santana got lost in her memory for a moment, until Blaine cleared his throat. He looked expectantly at Santana; he had asked her a question…

"San?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you spoken to Quinn this week, is she coming to dinner?"

Blaine looked at her expectantly as he took a sip of his water.

"She said she wasn't sure, she had to work nights this week and doesn't know if she'll make it, come to think of it I'm working Sunday night too"

The two, finished their lunch and said their goodbyes. Blaine headed back to campus and Santana figured she'd pay Quinn a visit. She picked up a salad and a Vitamin Water and walked the few blocks to St. Luke's.

Santana strolled in and up to the nurses' station, she leaned forward casually, Quinn's hair had fallen over her eyes, her head bent over a file she was writing in, and without looking up she spoke to Santana,

"What"

Santana smirked,

"You hungry Lucy Q?"

Quinn glared up at Santana, who despite repeatedly threatening her life, still insisted on calling her Lucy Q, it was better than Tubbers right?

Quinn sighed and looked at the salad and water by Santana's elbow and smiled,

"Yeah I am actually"

Quinn flipped the chart closed and followed Santana outside she took the salad from Santana and inspected it thoroughly. Santana rolled her eyes and nudged Quinn in the ribs,

"Just eat the damn thing Q, or it's gonna be the last meal I ever buys you"

"You got extra bacon,"

"Yeah"

Quinn leaned over and gave Santana a kiss on the cheek and went back to her food. Santana swiped at the caesar dressing smeared on her cheek and grimaced,

"I'm gonna smell like garlic now Q!"

Quinn just shrugged and giggled,

"You don't smell like garlic…"

Quinn trailed off and blushed slightly when she thought about what Santana did smell like, she wasn't sure what it was, but she liked it. It was just something uniquely Santana.

"Then what do I smell like?"

Santana had her head tilted up towards the sun, not catching the tinge of pink spread across Quinn's cheeks. It was late September and the weather wasn't going to be this good for very long.

"You smell good, you always smell good"

Quinn laughed nervously, and played with her bottle of water. Santana caught the tension in Quinn's voice and smiled at her,

"Thanks Q"

Santana stole a glance at the inside of her left wrist to check the time and cursed,

"Fuck I'm late, I'll see you later Q!"

Santana jogged off leaving a blushing confused Quinn behind.

* * *

Quinn sat with her forehead resting on her crossed forearms and groaned in frustration. What the hell was that this afternoon? She was never like that around Santana, ever. She had told her self a long time ago that it was never going to happen. _It's because Brittany isn't here. _

"Shut up!"

An orderly gave her a strange look that she quickly schooled with a glare.

"Oh, hunny, are you alright?"

Gertrude, an elderly nurse who had taken a liking to Quinn sat beside her and patted her arm. It had been close to ten hours since Quinn had spoken to or seen Santana. And for the life of her she still couldn't stop the ridiculous blush that crept up her neck every time she thought about her lunch break. Santana had been considerate, sweet almost.

This wasn't strange Santana had always been a very caring person, but this was the first time Santana had brought her lunch, this was the first time Quinn had seen Santana since their dinner two weeks ago.

Quinn had let Santana walk her home, Santana had let Quinn, hold onto her arm as they walked. Quinn wanted to enjoy the juxtaposition of the familiar feeling of being around Santana, with how different they had become as adults.

Quinn let herself into her apartment that night and sat on her couch for nearly an hour with a glass of wine, trying to calm her racing heart. Because if she didn't know any better, this could have been a date.

It wasn't a date…

Right?

A date meant feelings, and they were just two old friends catching up. But Quinn would be damned if she hadn't loved the way Santana licked her lips after every bite, or the way her cleavage peaked out just enough from the collar of her v-neck t-shirt.

"Yeah, Gertrude I'm fine…"

"Well, take the rest of the night then Quinn, I'll cover for you and we'll see you in a few days"

Quinn could do nothing but nod softly and slowly move her way to the locker rooms to grab her things. She didn't even bother changing when she got home. She simply slipped off her shoes and fell face first into her bed falling asleep almost immediately.

* * *

Santana was lying across the bench that separated two rows of lockers, her hands behind her head eyes closed.

"So you brought her lunch, it doesn't mean you wanna have lady babies with her does it?"

Puck looked down at Santana whose brows were scrunched in pain, she had a migraine.

"No? Damn it Puck I don't know I just thought she might be hungry, I mean Doctor's get busy right?"

"Is this about lunch, or the fact that you care? Wait…this isn't about Brittany is it?"

Was it? The pounding in her head almost spoke to her and it had the same song on repeat. It chanted…Guilty…but why? Santana wasn't in the mood to figure it out. Puck changed into his street clothes and tapped Santana's ankle. She swung her legs off the side and sat up, her head still hurt. Puck shouldered his bag and cuffed Santana in the shoulder.

"You'll figure it out Lopez, I wouldn't sweat it, or you might get shot because you're so distracted"

Thankfully her shift was quiet; allowing her to assess what was going on. She wasn't guilty that she had a thing for Quinn, because she had _always _had a thing for Quinn. She felt guilty because she felt that maybe Quinn had always been better for her.

Quinn challenged Santana constantly and she needed that. With Brittany, Santana had always been so worried and concerned that Brittany wouldn't understand something or that her innocence would somehow be sullied by Santana's cynical view of the world.

Quinn was already a cynic. Sad but true.

By the time Santana strolled through her apartment door and collapsed onto her couch she felt a lot better. Yes, she had a thing for Quinn, but they were friends first, and if anything were ever going to happen, she would let it happen if it was meant to be. But what if Quinn didn't feel the same way or worse…what if she did?

"I CAN HEAR YOU THINKING FROM IN HERE LOPEZ!"

Puck yelled to her from his room.

* * *

So, chapter III, sorry I wrote chapter IV before I wrote chapter III hence the wait…okay kids have fun and there's a review button around here that needs some clicking, so you know… click it…please…


	4. Stitches & Jack

a/n: Well hello there, welcome to chapter IV , some silliness ensues and Santana and Quinn run circles around each other because it's what they do.

* * *

_She was stubborn enough not to admit the obvious..._

..

* * *

.

….

.

.

.

.

.

Santana was sprawled out on the couch in the living room when Puck got home from his shift. They were the perfect room mates. They never worked the same shifts in a day, and they took the other into consideration. Having the same job did that they supposed.

He shook his head and ordered a pizza knowing she would be hungry when she got up. He had heard from Brittany a few days prior, she would call every few days to check in on Santana and the rest of their group of friends. He waved a slice of pizza under Santana's nose while stuffing his own slice in his mouth.

"Hey, Lopez wake up we have places to be people to see"

"Shut up and gimme that pizza Puckerman"

She sat up her hair in a disheveled pony tail and sleepily ate her pizza. It was Sunday night which meant it was family 'dinner' night or more accurately known as 'get trashed and sing karaoke night'.

Santana walked into the bar ahead of Puck dressed in light denim jeans a white wife beater and a black hooded knit top. Her hair was down around her shoulders and her feet were comfortably tucked into her black chucks. Her badge sat around her neck nestled safely against her chest. She always felt a deep sense of pride with it resting there. Puck walked in behind her wearing his now vintage 'I'm with stupid' t-shirt and black jeans, his badge sat in his wallet in his back pocket, and headed straight to the bar while Santana walked to their friend's table. He flashed the bartender a wide smile and she slid over two pitchers and told him she would be along with two glasses in a second.

Puck joined the table which sat Kurt, Blaine, Rachel and Santana and poured them all drinks. Santana's head shot up as a familiar head of short blonde hair approached their table.

"What's this? Big bad Dr. Fabray can't show up on time like the rest of us?"

Quinn scrunched her nose at Santana in a way that she almost found cute and squished in beside her.

"Shut up Santana, some of us work on Sundays"

Quinn had turned her head to face her and they were nearly nose to nose Quinn just bit her bottom lip and turned her head to talk to Rachel, whipping Santana in the face with her hair. Puck just smirked at them and got on with pouring drinks. A few hours and lots more alcohol later, they were being captivated by a very bad version of "My Humps" by some very drunk old man. Kurt and Blaine were currently rounding first beside Puck, Santana and Quinn were trying to dance, the alcohol making it seem way less coordinated than they thought And Rachel had left twenty minutes ago saying she had rehearsal in the morning.

Quinn took the stage and started in on her favorite go to song when she had enough liquid courage in her and started singing Semi- Charmed Kind of Life by Third Eye Blind. It always amazed both Santana and Puck how she knew all the lyrics, drunk no less. Family night came to an end and found the group of friends saying their goodbyes out side of the bar. Kurt and Blaine caught a cab back to their neighborhood and Quinn found herself walking between Puck and Santana. Quinn giggled to herself as she wrapped her arm around Santana's and rested her head on her shoulder as they walked towards their neighborhood.

The trio made their way back to Puck and Santana's. Puck took the couch and the two girls shared the bedroom. The last time all three of them tried to share the bed and it ended up with Quinn in bed, Puck on the floor and Santana in the shower.

Puck dove into the couch without as much as a good night to the girls. Santana stripped down to her underwear and tank top and was ignorant to Quinn's watchful eyes as she flopped on top of the bed. She was asleep before Quinn could say good night. And if Santana noticed the way Quinn was curled around her the next morning she didn't mention it and they were both okay with that.

* * *

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Santana gingerly walked out of the women's locker room, with her right arm wrapped around her midsection. Tony came up behind her clapping her on the back,

"That was a close one Lopez, that guy could have seriously hurt ya, you sure you alright?"

Tony eyed her suspiciously; the pair had been called in with a few others when reports of gun fire had been called in. As Santana was frisking one of the kids he managed to pull a concealed weapon on her and caught her between the vest and the top of her pants. She disarmed him and had him in the back of the cruiser swiftly. By the time she had got him through booking, and finished her reports the adrenaline had worn off and she realized he had cut her.

"Yeah Tony, I'm alright, going to get checked out right now"

He gave her a nod and another pat on the back and went into the locker room. Santana shouldered her bag and pulled out her phone, she unlocked the screen with a slide of her thumb and called the first person she could think of.

"Quinn Fabray speaking"

Silence…Santana felt like an asshole for bugging Quinn,

"Santana I have caller ID, what is it?"

She pretended to sound annoyed, but the truth was she liked hearing from Santana, it was Thursday and usually they had lunch together on Thursdays, Quinn had been worried when Santana hadn't showed up.

"Shit, Hey Q you busy? I'm bored and needs some one to entertain me"

Santana heard Quinn laugh, and breathed a sigh of relief.

"No I'm not busy San, drop on by, and bring food because I'm starving"

Half an hour later Santana was letting herself into Quinn's apartment. They all had keys to each other's apartments, for emergencies it was one of the reason's they all lived relatively close to each other.

Quinn walked out of her bedroom in a robe that reached mid thigh towel drying her hair. This was a good thing because Quinn missed the audible gulp Santana gave at the sight of strong legs and the knowledge that Quinn was more than likely naked under that robe.

If this had been just a social visit Santana would have backed Quinn up into a wall and told her to put some clothes on. Their relationship was something undefined and it suited both women just fine. They refused to admit out loud that they were on their way to becoming more their excuse was that they liked to flirt with each other, and they liked to push boundaries with each other, they always had.

Really that was just code for, "We like each other and are too chicken shit stubborn to do the 'adult' thing"

So they continued to drive each other crazy...

_Santana strolled in to the Trauma Centre at St. Luke's, it was the middle of May and hot for the month. Santana was dressed in beige cargo's her boots which she never tied and an NYPD t-shirt, her badge ever present around her neck. She spotted Quinn head down reading a chart at the nurses' station, and smirked. _

"_What up Lucy Q"_

_Santana had sauntered over to Quinn and was looking over her shoulder as she whispered in her ear. She ignored the goose bumps she saw appear at the proximity of her lips to Quinn's ear, _

"_Jesus, Santana don't do that!"_

_Quinn spun around and smacked her friend in arm. Santana just grinned a wide grin and unabashedly checked Quinn out, because she knew what was under those scrubs, years of Cheerios practice had taught her that._

"_Sorry Q, lunch?"_

_Quinn sighed and looked off to the left, Santana knew what that meant,_

"_Jenn and I made plans, we haven't seen each other in a while and she thought it would be…nice"_

_Santana smirked at Quinn's professional tone, as if she were retelling verbatim what Jenn had said to her._

"_So, blow her off it's not like you two have been having sex lately and besides I'm way more fun"_

Lunch was always the same with Santana, they would order and chat over their salads, Santana would insult Quinn's girlfriend and then Quinn would just scowl and ask when the last time _she _had sex was, and then Santana would rove her eyes over Quinn's lips and smirk because that pretty lawyer Quinn had been 'seeing' didn't have the sense to keep Quinn…satisfied. Quinn had expressed her disgruntlement at her current sex life, or lack there of to Santana many times. And Santana would always leer and offer to fix her problem…and Quinn would always shove her and tell her to stop being mean…

And Quinn would shudder just a bit under such scrutiny because she wanted to have sex with Santana, but she couldn't quite read her. They joked around and flirted and although Santana had outright told Quinn she would sleep with her, she couldn't take her seriously, because Santana was just joking….right?

Quinn put the towel around her shoulders and flashed Santana a wicked smile, her smile faltered when she saw how pale Santana was and that she was favoring her right side. She took the proffered Chinese take out from trembling hands and set it on the breakfast bar attached to the kitchen.

"San, are you okay?"

Santana nodded wearily, "Yeah, I need you to look at something for me"

Quinn led Santana to the couch where she had her sit down and helped her take off her jacket and took in the deep crimson stain on the right side of her white t-shirt. Her eyes widened, and she immediately lifted the front of the t-shirt to see a shallow but long cut along Santana's right side.

"Jesus Santana, is this why you called me?"

"It looks worse than it really is I promise, and you know how I feel about hospitals and shit like this"

Quinn glared at Santana and tugged her into the kitchen helping her up onto the breakfast bar and leaving her to get her first aid kit and a bottle of Jack Daniels. She reappeared and gave Santana the whiskey.

"I don't have anything to numb the site and I figured this was your best option, now drink"

Santana did as she was told; as Quinn's hands slid up her sides taking the white cotton shirt with them Santana raised her arms above her head she gave a slight hiss when the movement pulled at her side. Quinn slid the t-shirt up and off her body, Santana's abs twitched as she smirked inwardly at their position.

"Shut up"

Quinn bit out but it held no harshness, more concern for the woman who was sitting in front of her. Quinn took a deep breath and focused on her task step by step. It didn't matter that Santana was sitting on her breakfast bar in jeans and a bra her perfect torso on display, her badge around her neck nestled neatly against her chest between two perfect breasts encased in black.

Santana took a long pull from the bottle of Jack, she eyed Quinn carefully as she slipped on a pair of surgical gloves and sat leaned forward towards Santana a piece of gauze soaked in disinfectant. Santana took the fortunate opportunity afforded to her by her current position. Quinn was still in her robe legs crossed (she wasn't stupid after all) and it had ridden up a few inches so Santana had Quinn's long legs from toe to thigh on display, the bottom just covering the bottom of her ass.

"Santana"

Quinn breathed out Santana's name gently,

"Yeah Q?"

Santana was in a bit of a daze from the booze and the heady feeling she was convinced was arousal, her eyes met Quinn's and she smiled warmly at the blush traveling up Quinn's neck.

"Stop staring and take a long drink"

Quinn then pressed the gauze against Santana's side. Santana's toes curled at the burning sting that traveled up her side and she did as she was told.

"Jesus Quinn you could have warned me!"

Santana scowled and drank some more appreciating the view she had down Quinn's robe as Quinn continued to gently clean the wound and smirked,

"Yeah because you would have heard me while you were busy looking down my robe"

"No one told you too stay naked"

"I'm not naked Santana, stop moving"

Quinn placed her hand firmly on Santana's left hip to keep her from squirming away from her; Quinn's thumb began to stroke gently along the skin there while she worked.

"You're lucky this isn't deep you could have lost a lot of blood San or worse there could have been a lot more damage, I want you to get checked out properly tomorrow, I mean it"

Santana rolled her eyes but nodded at the glare Quinn gave her, she finished patching Santana up and cleaned up. She was washing her hands when she felt the heat coming off Santana in waves at her back. Hands claimed her hips and turned her around so she was pressed against the countertop and Santana's body. Santana ghosted her lips along Quinn's neck and finally settled at her ear,

"Thanks Q"

Santana whispered and dropped a small kiss at the spot just behind Quinn's ear that always left her with goose bumps. Santana went to turn away but Quinn had grabbed her by the upper arm and pulled Santana against her.

Quinn's arms slid around Santana's neck as she pressed their lips together. Quinn figured the best way to find out if Santana was joking or not was to just go for it and Quinn was tired of being left so damn frustrated all the time. Santana's hands again found purchase on Quinn's hips but this time they slid down to Quinn's ass and gave a small squeeze as Santana backed her up against the fridge and started kissing a trail down the left side of Quinn's neck and up the right side to her ear. Santana nipped her ear lobe and slid her hand down Quinn's thigh to wrap it around her hip,

Quinn squeezed her eyes shut against what was about to leave her mouth,

"San…Santana stop"

Santana froze, lips hovering over the top of Quinn's left breast which was exposed from the top of her robe, and already had a nice dark mark forming from where Santana had sucked at it mercilessly. Santana sighed and dropped her head to let it rest against Quinn's chest. Quinn gently stroked the back of Santana's neck and giggled.

Santana could feel the rapid pace of Quinn's heart beat and wondered if hers felt and sounded the same. She sighed and raised her head and placed her hands on either side of Quinn's head against the fridge.

Nuzzling her nose against Quinn's she leaned forward for another kiss, slanting her mouth over Quinn's her tongue barely brushing against Quinn's lower lip. Santana watched with rapt fascination as Quinn's eyes fluttered closed and she smiled into their kiss. Santana kept her hands planted firmly against the fridge on either side of Quinn's head, while Quinn had rested her hands on Santana's collarbone.

"Mmm Santana, you need to go"

Quinn's actions betrayed her words and she slid her hands up onto the nape of Santana's neck cording her fingers through Santana's hair

"Why?"

Santana whispered against Quinn's lips,

"Because I have to go to work"

Santana pulled away and closed her eyes. Sighing as she gave Quinn a kiss to the forehead. Santana leaned against the breakfast bar, hands planted behind her back; Quinn readjusted her robe and leaned against the fridge. Quinn couldn't remember the last time she had been so turned on and what was worse, as Quinn crossed her legs and squeezed her thighs shut to relieve some of the mounting pressure there Santana saw this and strode forward and just as she was about to claim Quinn's lips Quinn turned so Santana caught her cheek instead.

This didn't deter Santana she just started trailing kisses along Quinn's neck and jaw line. Quinn groaned at Santana's resourcefulness and then had no choice but to push Santana away more forcefully than she wanted to.

"Okay, you're leaving, now!"

Quinn exclaimed as she backed Santana up to the front door, she opened it and gave Santana one last kiss, Quinn closed the door in Santana's face and rested her forehead against the door,

_Knock knock knock_

"Go away San!"

"I'm half naked Quinn"

Santana dead panned through the door. Quinn growled as her eyes went sky ward and she opened the door for Santana who was leaning forward hands braced against the wall in her jeans and a bra a shit eating grin on her face, Quinn pulled Santana in by her badge and shoved her back up against the door,

"Stay"

Quinn growled against her lips and she left Santana to retrieve her jacket for her. She tossed it into her hands and shoved her out the door again,

'Great' she thought, 'Now I'm going to need another shower…'

* * *

Santana collapsed onto the couch careful of her injured side, Santana was late, Puck walked out of the bedroom scratching at his stomach; he leaned over Santana and sniffed at her, to see if she was drunk, negative. His eyes widened when he realized what or who she did smell like,

"You were with Quinn!"

"I wasn't _with _Quinn, like that anyway"

Puck huffed himself onto the couch by Santana's feet and gave her a stern look. He had been watching them lately, since Brittany had left and they had gotten closer, and not just as friends, they physically were starting to have no boundaries, last week he came out of his bedroom to find Santana yelling at Quinn in the bathroom to hurry up in the shower, or she was going to shower with her lest she be late for work.

He hadn't caught Quinn's retort but from the way Quinn had squealed he figured Santana had made true on her promise.

"So how was it like then?"

Puck's eyes followed Santana as she rolled over onto her back and rested her head against her forearms behind her head and sighed.

"I dropped by she patched me up and then we sort of kissed…"

Santana's eyes were every where but Puck who was just chuckling to himself. Santana kicked him in the thigh.

"Shut up Puckerman"

"You sort of kissed…or you made out and now you want to make out some more because you guys have been word slash eye slash thoughts fucking for like ever."

Santana just smiled glad for the dim lighting of the room so he couldn't see her blush. Puck shook his head and padded back to his bedroom to get ready for work.

* * *

.

.

.

.

Blonde hair fell into her eyes as she bent her head reading the chart she held in her hands. Her brows furrowed and she looked up into mischievous brown eyes and an impish smile. She smiled back and gave her patient a mock scowl. After all she couldn't stay mad at such a cute face.

"Now, we had this conversation last week, you can't climb trees with broken fingers."

"Yes Dr. Fabray"

Quinn ruffled the boy's hair and helped him down from the table. She grabbed her next chart and headed in the direction of her next patient, she rolled her eyes when she read the name at the top of the chart and had half a mind to leave them there.

It had been a month since Santana had first kissed her and they hadn't talked about it. They just decided to keep doing it. Santana would drop by the Trauma Centre when she could to see Quinn, most of the time they would eat lunch talk about their day, avoid the fact that they were pseudo dating...or they ended up in a supply closet, Quinn's back up against a shelf Santana's hands trailing fire across her sides and lower back.

On the rare nights they were both off, Santana would hang out at Quinn's apartment, citing that it was lonely without Puck to play Xbox and drink beers with.

It was starting to drive Quinn crazy, and every time she told Santana as much (usually straddling Santana's thighs) Santana always said the same thing,

_"San, we can't keep doing this"_

_They were sat on Quinn's couch, her thighs straddling Santana's, her arms around Santana's neck while Santana kept Quinn balanced with her hands on her ass. Santana trailed her lips along Quinn's neck and up to her earlobe tugging it between her teeth lightly,_

_"Why, it's not like you have a girlfriend"_

No, Jenn hadn't lasted very long after Thanksgiving, but that wasn't Quinn's problem, her problem was that she was getting frustrated. She was okay living in denial, but the denial had to at least come with sex at some point right?

She ripped the curtain back and fixed Santana with her best HBIC glare. Santana sat almost in the exact same position as the seven year old boy she had just seen impish grin and all, she was in a black tank top and sweats her hoodie folded neatly beside her. Quinn's eyes widened perceptibly when she saw that Santana had a gash along her hairline that had trailed blood down the left side of her face.

Quinn looked over Santana's face, taking the moment to appreciate deep chocolate eyes and full lips. The corner of Quinn's mouth twitched up slightly and she started to blush, she had intimate knowledge of those lips now. What they felt like caressing her jaw line and what they tasted like. She cleared her throat to hide her train of thought and tskd at Santana in disapproval. Pulling on a pair of gloves she gently cradled Santana's face in her hands as she assessed the injury.

"When were you supposed to get this looked at?"

Santana could feel Quinn's breath along her cheek bone as she spoke. Quinn was standing between Santana's knees her gloved hands cleaning up the dried and not so dried blood on Santana's face. Santana flinched when Quinn got too close to the gash,

"Sorry"

She whispered against Santana's cheek. Her eyes drifted down to look into Santana's and a deep blush crept up her neck.

"Last night, but it seemed to have closed up on it's own and I was so damn tired and I just wanted to get out of there. I woke up this morning and it had opened so, here I am"

Santana grinned at Quinn as she watched Quinn meticulously clean her wound the fingers of her left hand settled gently along Santana's forehead keeping her hair out of the way as her right hand worked.

"You're going to need stitches San. You could have called me you know, I would have done this for you last night"

Santana took a deep breath in and let it out as Quinn prepped what she needed to stitch up Santana's head. Their eyes met briefly and Quinn gave a slight smile and blushed even deeper.

"I didn't want to bother you"

Santana whispered as Quinn started to stitch up Santana's head.

The truth was that Santana had considered going to Quinn last night, but she didn't want to worry her, she had gotten into a really bad scrap and had split her head open when some bat shit crazy woman had jumped her from behind and she had cracked her head on a mirror.

She had tried her luck hoping she would get another ER doctor she was sure Quinn had that morning off, turned out that Quinn had picked up an extra shift. Quinn placed two butterfly bandages over the stitches because Quinn just knew Santana was going to rip them open if she didn't. She cleaned up and then gently ran her thumb along the cut and smiled at Santana as she let her eyes focus on the woman's own eyes in front of her.

"Thanks Q"

It was said much in the same way that Santana had said it the last time. Quinn smiled as a blush ran up her neck to the tops of her ears. Santana stepped down from the examination table and put her hoodie back on while Quinn scribbled out a few instructions to keep the stitches dry and clean, and a prescription for an antibiotic.

"Take the penicillin Santana; I'm serious, three days, and no drinking."

Santana huffed and took the scrip from Quinn with a pout. Quinn just smiled back and left the room.

Ten minutes later she felt her phone buzz she checked and saw that it was a text message from Santana,

_San: Have dinner with me_

_Quinn: No_

_San: Tonight at seven?_

_Quinn: I said no, Santana_

_San: Why not?_

_Quinn: You know why…_

_San: It's just dinner Q, besides I have a proposition for you_

Quinn tucked her bottom lip between her teeth and sighed…

_Quinn: Okay, my place seven, don't be late_

Quinn worried at her bottom lip with her teeth, it was just dinner between friends right? Dinner between two friends who can't find the self control to keep their hands off of each other…

.

.

.

.

.

* * *

a/n: Do they seem like they're moving a little fast? Maybe I should slow them down a little…Next chapter will be dinner and more flirting and maybe more kissy times….


	5. McDonalds

a/n: Oh hey, Chapter V, how did chapter IV treat you? Good okay that's good. Note the next words in this author's note I made them big so you would see them…M RATING FOR THIS CHAPTER. And the song mentioned is Witness by Sarah McLachlan, I don't own that neither. And for the record I rarely put song lyrics IN my chapters usually they are a prefix after a quote but this just seemed, to fit...

a/n: I hear there's been some confusion with the time lapses in my chapters and I apologize for that so, yes there has been quite a significant amount of time between events. Like four to six weeks. Brittany has been gone for close to eight months and it's nearly Christmas. This chapter takes place in I want to say, November I had to remember that thanksgiving is in November in the US. .

.

.

.

.

.

.

_She wasn't an extravagant girl, and Santana knew that…_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

Santana shoved her hands in her pockets as she walked to Quinn's apartment. Her head was still throbbing a bit and she was pretty sure she had a concussion. She had been placed on desk duty until she was cleared by a doctor. As she walked along the street she took in the updated façade of the buildings in the neighborhood. Quinn's building was really just a converted brownstone like Puck's. She lived on the top floor, and it had a master bedroom plus master bath a half bath and a full bay window along the living room wall that faced the street and an updated kitchen.

Santana let herself in and hung up her jacket, on the stand by the door. She tiptoed into the apartment quietly, and looked around. Quinn's bag and jacket were on the coffee table, the kitchen lights were on.

"Hey, Lucy Q where you at?"

"In my bathroom!"

Was Quinn's muffled reply, Santana followed the voice down the hallway to Quinn's spacious master bedroom. She stretched herself out on Quinn's bed and crossed her legs at the ankles.

"Y'know I never understood why you have such a big bed"

"That's because you've spent eight months sleeping on a couch"

Quinn poked her head around her bathroom door, and Santana caught a glimpse of soft pleats in hunter green. Quinn's hair was kept short like her days at McKinley and her blonde hair sat in soft waves around her face.

"Hey, no makeup, I thought I said keep it simple Fabray?"

Santana did a kip up from the bed, and went to lean against the door jam of Quinn's bathroom. She had followed her own orders and was dressed in dark jeans and a black thermal long sleeve top her hair was tied back into a loose pony tail. She took the opportunity to admire the simple hunter green dress, and the way Quinn's blonde hair was softly curled at the nape of her neck. Their eyes met in the mirror for a brief second, the ring of green around Quinn's irises contracted, almost making her eyes glow.

"What if I was taking you to McDonalds?"

"Are you taking me to McDonalds?"

Santana raised an eyebrow and turned Quinn to face her, suddenly swept up in an intense moment of déjà vu. Santana captured Quinn's lips in a heated kiss wrapping her arms around Quinn's waist and letting her hands settle on her lower back. Quinn wrapped her arms around Santana's neck and deepened their kiss. Santana pulled away and screwed her eyes shut tightly, her head was throbbing. She held Quinn an arm's length away and bowed her head trying to let the pain pass. Quinn's hands went to cradle Santana's head and the pads of her thumbs rested against her temples.

"Santana, did you get a cat scan today?"

Santana could barely shake her head no. Quinn helped her over to the bed and got her to lie back.

"Q I'm fine it's just a headache"

"You suffered a head injury twenty four hours ago Santana, it's not just a head ache. Come on we're going to the hospital"

Quinn went to help Santana up but she resisted, it was bad enough she was off for the rest of the week. The point of dinner was for Quinn to clear her back to patrol work. Not one of Santana's brighter ideas.

"They'll take me off full duty Quinn"

The confession came out as a whisper. Santana loved her job. And she hadn't been with the department very long. She was beginning to feel like a star athlete whose career had ended prematurely in the middle of college…

But Quinn didn't see it that way and now she understood the offer for dinner, and what Santana's proposition was, her eyes narrowed and she folded her arms as Santana sat up right.

"I'm not clearing you, I could lose my license."

Santana had the good sense to look ashamed,

"Damn it Santana, you could have a serious brain injury! Not to mention if you do some how get cleared for full duty by another doctor, someone could get really hurt or worse if you can't do your job!"

Santana just grumbled and got off the bed, Quinn trailed after her, she wasn't done…

"I'm not done with you Santana!"

Santana spun around and backed Quinn up against the wall,

"Yes you are, you're starting to sound like Brittany"

Quinn gave Santana a hard shove into the wall. She loved Brittany, but she was more than insulted when Santana had compared her to the dancer. Quinn's eyes were glowing a true emerald fire now. She wasn't about to let Santana stand here and feed her some crap about Brittany.

Quinn was not Brittany

"How dare you, how much of your job did you hide from Brittany? How easy was it for you to placate her into thinking that you were safe, even though we both know she never believed you!"

Santana got a dark look about her and closed the gap between their bodies with her own. There was a dull ache in her head and she was pretty sure Quinn was furious right now, but damn it to hell if she wasn't turned on by Quinn's out burst. Their breathe mingled as Santana's eyes traveled over the planes of Quinn's face, her pointed nose, and flush cheeks, her glowing eyes and her full lips.

And Santana remembered those words as if it were yesterday,

"Brittany will always be my girlfriend"

The appendage to that statement?

"But Quinn was always first"

First kiss (shocking), first tearful confession that she was attracted to girls, first real heartbreak, and first best friend, other than Puckerman, who she never really slept with. They usually just holed up in his room with beer and video games.

"You're right, she didn't believe me, but she let me think she did. She hated my job, because she worried constantly that I wouldn't come home. She told me that there were nights when she got so worried she would get sick"

Santana trailed her lips along Quinn's neck down the left side and up the right to nip at her ear lobe while she continued her whispered confession. Quinn closed her eyes against the heat pooling between her thighs, she was supposed to be angry…

"But then you come along, and you make it okay to get hurt. I don't have to hide the fact that I got tackled by some perp, or that some kid elbowed me in the eye or some woman smashed my head into a mirror. You're right you're not Brittany"

Santana pulls Quinn away from the wall and wraps her arms around her waist hands settling on her ass, and softly presses their lips together. Santana walks Quinn back to her bedroom, stopping when Quinn is perched at the edge of the bed. Her eyes are closed and she just feels. She feels Santana's hands slide up her dress finger tips tickling the outside of her thighs dragging along soft skin to squeeze her ass. She feels Santana's lips every where, along her neck and her jaw, down along her collar bone and against the spot behind her ear. She tries to keep quiet at first, but when Santana's tongue makes a swipe along her pulse point, she bites her bottom lip and groans. Santana is unzipping the back of her dress and Quinn is sucking Santana's tongue deeper into her mouth when Quinn's mind clears and she remembers why she was wearing the dress in the first place. She removes Santana's hands from her lower back where they rested after undoing the zipper and she leans back away from Santana their clasped hands resting in her lap in front of them. She makes sure to meet Santana's glazed eyes and hold her there.

"We're getting you a cat scan Santana, no arguing"

Santana closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against Quinn's, she pulled back slightly and gave Quinn a full kiss to the lips and nodded,

"Fine, Lucy Q get changed"

Quinn got changed quickly into a pair of light wash jeans and a white baby doll t-shirt, she threw on a zip up hoodie and they took a cab to St. Luke's. Four hours and one cat scan later it was confirmed that Santana did not have any internal damage, and that her head ache was a result of the blow. She was instructed to take some pain killers and she would be cleared for full active duty next week. The cab ride back to Quinn's was a silent one. But the two never relinquished contact. During the entire time, Quinn was either holding Santana's hand or was cording her fingers through the hair at the base of Santana's skull.

They arrived at Quinn's apartment and she ushered them inside. Santana sat on the couch and put her feet up on the coffee table. Quinn busied herself in the kitchen putting a kettle to boil and rifling through her cupboards for some tea. As she turned off the stove her back to the rest of the kitchen, she felt the heat of Santana's body stood behind her, and she caught a whiff of something uniquely Santana. She would later learn that it was sandalwood and jasmine. Quinn moved the kettle from the burner to a trivet on the counter. Her hands still firmly on the handle of the kettle not wanting to turn around. She may have been Lucy Quinn Fabray HBIC of McKinley but right now, she was a woman afraid of what she knew she was feeling for her best friend turned make out buddy.

And to be honest she didn't want a fucking make out buddy…

She had always felt it, and she was always forced to push it aside. She had gotten pregnant, Santana was with Brittany and then college happened putting Quinn a safe distance away from her feelings. But now Brittany was off dancing her way around the world and Quinn was here, with Santana so close to her. Quinn's ears picked up the soft notes of music playing in the background, and Santana was right behind her, pressed up against her, with her hands on her hips swaying them side to side to the music.

'_Make me a witness,_

_Take me out,_

_Out of darkness_

_Out of doubt_

Quinn tangled the hand that was holding the kettle in a death grip into Santana's hair and tilted her head back and to the left to kiss her deeply; God she felt so good against her. Santana's hands moved to rest on Quinn's stomach her thumbs running along the exposed skin between her t-shirt and the top of her jeans.

_I won't weigh you down  
With good intention  
Won't make fire out of clay  
Or other inventions_

Quinn turned in Santana's arms; not relinquishing her lips from the other woman's and wrapped her arms around Santana's neck. They continued their kiss; it was languid and natural, sweet. Quinn's hands slid to cup Santana's cheeks as their kiss ended. She kissed the cut along Santana's hairline and buried her face into Santana's neck wrapping her into a tight hug. It wasn't much but she hoped Santana got the message.

She was scared shitless.

Santana held her just as tightly. She could feel Quinn's heart beating against her ribcage, it thumped so hard Santana was worried it would explode out of her chest. Santana was relieved when Quinn pulled away to look her in the eyes and she saw the hesitation and fear reflected there, because Santana felt the same way.

Who was to say that this was going to work, what ever this was. Up until a few weeks ago she didn't know what 'this' was. Or maybe she did, because Quinn had always been first, she wasn't lying when she said that she would never love any one the way she loved Brittany. Her love for Britt was young and pure and would always be apart of her. Her love for Quinn though was beyond anything she had ever been able to describe. It made her lash out and say mean things, it made her want to be a better person despite herself, and it could consume her if she let it.

_Will we burn, in heaven_

_Like we do, down here_

_Will the change come_

_While we're waiting_

_Everyone is waiting_

And she wanted to let it.

Quinn's lips surged forward and sought out Santana, who was only too willing to melt into their kiss. Quinn began walking Santana down the hall towards her bedroom. Fingers tangled in hair, hands sought out firm flesh. Quinn's hoodie was peeled away and discarded to the floor along their way. Quinn found her self perched at the end of her bed Santana stood between her thighs. Santana's hands had slipped underneath her t-shirt and were trying to tug it up and off of Quinn's body, too distracted with her lips trailing kisses along Quinn's exposed neck to focus. Frustrated she growled into Quinn's mouth and bit down on her bottom lip just slightly. Quinn moaned and deepened their kiss, as Santana crawled over Quinn making her slide back onto the bed.

She sat up and draped her thighs over Santana's who was sitting back on her heels, the movement brought them closer, and Quinn was starting to move her hips to relieve the tension that had been building. Quinn lifted her t-shirt up and off of her body flicking it off into a corner of her bedroom. Santana's eyes darkened in the moonlit room, at the sight before her. Full breasts enclosed in a white satin bra, Quinn's milky skin seemed to glow in the pale moonlight shining in through the window. Santana exhaled in a whoosh of breath and leaned forward, her lips kissing and suckling at the flesh of the top of Quinn's left breast. Her skin tasted sweet against Santana's tongue and she started to wonder what she _really _tasted like. Quinn gasped at the first feel of Santana's mouth along the top of her breast, she clutched at her wanting to pull her in further trying to take in as much of Santana as she could.

Quinn was on her back her legs wrapped around Santana's waist as Santana continued to explore the curves and contours of her body. From her collar bone to her navel, no part of her went un-touched or un-kissed. Quinn's bra had been tossed aside and Santana was busy working her mouth over Quinn's right nipple. Laving it with her tongue she looked up at Quinn as her lips closed around the stiff point and she groaned at the sight before her. Quinn's head thrown back lips only slightly parted panting out moans for more. Santana moved back up Quinn's body and kissed her soundly.

Quinn's fingers trailed up Santana's sides taking her top with them which was also thrown into a dark corner. She smiled up at Santana as she leaned forward and dragged her teeth along Santana's collar bone. Santana had her palms flat against Quinn's pillow on either side of her head, she hissed at the feeling of Quinn's teeth dragging along her skin, and ground her hips into the other woman's. Quinn gasped into Santana's ear and canted her hips up into the movement. They moved together for a moment and then Quinn needed more. Shaking hands reached for the belt and zipper on Santana's jeans, it took some doing but she got them undone and slid them down firm thighs with her feet. Santana kicked them off and was now in just her bra and underwear.

"Lose the bra Lopez"

Santana did as she was told, and Quinn flipped them over so that she was straddling Santana's stomach. Santana swore she could feel the heat pulsing from between Quinn's thighs along her abs. Quinn gave her one naughty look and slid her way down, kissing and sucking on any part of Santana she could reach. She settled between caramel thighs and kissed the inside of each one as she swiftly tugged down Santana's underwear.

Quinn settled atop Santana relishing the feeling of Santana's skin against hers. Her hips nestled between Santana's thighs moving in tandem with their kisses. Quinn groaned feeling Santana along her lower stomach. She blazed another trail down Santana's body and hooked her arms around Santana's thighs gripping firmly. She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly,

"God you smell so good San"

Santana just whimpered and tried to tighten her thighs around Quinn, but Quinn held them apart, and with one last kiss high up on Santana's inner thigh, she trailed her tongue slowly up Santana's length. Quinn licked and kissed at wet folds. And Santana could do nothing but tangle her fingers in Quinn's hair and grind herself against her mouth. She whimpered and moaned out incoherent pleas for more...But Quinn took her time savouring Santana on her tongue and the softness against her lips.

"So good Quinn"

Quinn took pity on Santana as she built her up letting her teeter on that edge never letting her fall. She had to hold Santana down as she took her clit between her lips and ran her tongue along it finally giving Santana what she had been calling out for; she came with a deep moan and Quinn's name on her lips.

Santana took little time to recover though. She sat up and cupped Quinn's ass pulling her towards her and crashing their lips together. Santana decided she liked how she tasted on Quinn and pinned Quinn beneath her body, fingers wrapped around Quinn's wrists her hands above her head.

Quinn's hair was wild and sexy, and splayed all over her pillow. Her eyes were glowing and she wrapped her legs around Santana and brought their pelvises together as Santana kissed her for all she was worth. Santana kissed her way along Quinn's jaw, to her ear and tugged lightly.

"Did, you have fun Lucy Q"

Santana whispered in to Quinn's ear, and Quinn nodded, her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

"Good"

Santana said before snaking a hand down to undo the button and zipper on Quinn's jeans. She slid her hand past the waist band of her underwear and along soft skin into wet heat. She trailed her fingers along Quinn before pushing two fingers inside of her knuckle deep. Quinn's eyes fluttered closed and her lips parted wide in a soundless gasp.

"Open your eyes Quinn"

Santana's breath came out as a whisper against Quinn's lips. Santana slid her fingers out slightly and pushed in again deeper, Quinn bit her bottom lip and squeaked out a moan, her eyes were still shut tight.

"I said open your eyes"

Quinn could barely nod and slowly her lidded gaze was fixed on Santana, they shared a sloppy kiss and Santana pulled out of Quinn, despite a groan of protest. Quinn leaned up on her elbows and watched as Santana pulled and tugged at her jeans her panties soon followed. Santana reclaimed her spot breast to breast with Quinn, and slid her left hand down her thigh to her knee lifting it and opening her hips up more. Santana slid her right hand down along Quinn's neck, between the valley of her breasts down her stomach to the apex of her thighs. She ran two fingers along Quinn coating them, and then pushed forward, slowly.

"Fuck Santana"

Quinn grated out before Santana began to move her fingers slowly out and then deeply into Quinn's heat. She curled her fingers in time with her thrusts, and Quinn clawed at her lower back urging her on.

"Mmm harder…please"

Santana obliged, and buried her head into Quinn's neck breathing in deeply. They traded sloppy kisses as Santana moved inside of Quinn, putting her hips behind her thrusts, Quinn's hips moved in time with Santana's fingers and with a brush of Santana's thumb over Quinn's clit and a curl of fingers against Quinn's walls, Quinn was moaning and gasping Santana's name into the night, Santana collapsed on top of Quinn, sated and sweaty. Quinn wrapped her arms around Santana and kissed her shoulder lightly.

They worked their way under the sheets and Santana rolled to Quinn's side and wrapped her arms around her. Quinn rested her head against Santana's chest, her ear just above her heart. Santana idly ran her hands through short sweat dampened locks and couldn't help but rest her cheek against the top of Quinn's head. Like it was all a damn puzzle they just fit together. Quinn shifted and rested her chin where her head had just been, her fingers stroking along Santana's collar bone and took in Santana's furrowed brow as she stared off into space.

"Hey…"

Santana looked at Quinn and almost immediately the look was gone, if Quinn hadn't known Santana for so long she never would have noticed,

"Don't do that…don't hide from me"

Santana sighed and continued running her fingers through Quinn's hair, Quinn gave Santana a chaste kiss to the lips and then kissed the cut along her hairline,

'God don't let her regret this' prayed Quinn. Santana's arms tightened around her and she settled back down to rest her head against Santana's heart once more. It was steady, and strong. She felt the rumbling in Santana's chest as she spoke,

"Do you think we did the right thing back then?"

Quinn's hand didn't falter as it continued its stroking along Santana's skin,

"I think we did the smart thing, I don't think there was any right or wrong, what ever we felt, when we were younger, San…it would have never survived everything. I think that we needed to know what life was like without each other."

Santana kissed the top of Quinn's head and settled into bed her arms securely around Quinn.

"Me too Lucy Q, me too"

_And when we're done  
Soul searching  
As we carried the weight  
And died for the cause  
Is misery  
Made beautiful  
Right before our eyes  
Will mercy be revealed  
Or blind us where we stand_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

* * *

a/n: Oh, hi there, hm, wonder what sort of shenanigans these two are gonna end up in now….my updates are sporadic at best, and most of the time I wish I could curl up and live in my head but I can't, so life goes on. I can try to update as best I can but I'm not going to rush a chapter for your benefit, sorry. It wouldn't be fair to you as a reader. You're trusting me to give you some sort of quality work and I'm going to do my damnedest to try and give you that. So bare with me guys. Drop me a follow on twitter sometimes I'm funny and if you look real close apparently I'm inspiring…bullshit I say lol so stay tuned for chapter VI okay? www . twitter  
sarahrebeccayp


	6. Coward 2 point 0

a/n: As I said in the last Chapter, my updates are quite sporadic, but it's for a good reason I promise. And just for clarity sake the girls and everyone really, are 24-25. You need to be 21 to be hired by the NYPD and I wanted Santana to at least have her bachelors degree before becoming a cop so 17 plus four is twenty one and Santana has been a cop for three four years, and Q's doctorate degree is 8 years so…So now we see why these two are the way they are…

_We often ignore the right decisions, because they are the most difficult. And let our regrets flourish later on for it._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_She swiped her bangs from her forehead, and exhaled slowly. She absently toyed with the small silver cross hanging from the delicate necklace around her throat. She rested her hands against the countertop of the bank of sinks in front of her and willed herself not to falter. Her gaze lifted and she was met with watery green/hazel eyes that screamed fear and shame._

_Pregnant_

_She snorted out a smug chuckle at the irony of her life; she was the pretty blonde cheer leader with the quarter back boyfriend. She was the one every body wanted or wanted to be. And it wasn't like she was complaining or anything but damn it all to hell if she just wanted to be able to have a few faults._

_Because even though it was awesome to be lauded over and worshipped all she really wanted was that unconditional love that questioned nothing and survived anything. And she knew that she didn't have that with Finn, and she definitely didn't have it for some punk who took advantage of the fact that she was drunk and just wanted to feel wanted. _

_The door to the girls' bathroom burst open and the vision that was Santana Lopez barreled into her, her arms wrapped around her tight enough to hurt. Quinn took the opportunity to breathe in deeply and smile softly at the comfort the familiarity of Santana gave, and hugged her back._

"_What ever you need Q, I'll be here for you."_

_But she hadn't been there; she had ended up being caught up in her own personal hell so that Quinn fell by the wayside. And to counter her guilt Santana had lashed out at the one girl that supported her through pretty much everything. _

_Extort weakness in those around you and maybe people won't notice yours…_

_Santana always did have strange defense mechanisms. It was in a shared hotel room in New York during Nationals where they had finally had a conversation about the real dynamic of their friendship; after all, Santana had met Quinn first._

"_Hey the shower is free"_

_Quinn stepped out of the bathroom in a flurry of steam with a towel wrapped around her chest. She raked her fingers through her newly cut hair and tugged at it a little. It felt light and strange to not feel it cascading down her back, and yet she had never felt more like her true self than she had in that moment when Santana had handed the very flamboyant hair stylist her dad's credit card._

_Santana looked up from her laptop. She was sprawled out on her stomach across the king size bed. The hotel had messed up and gave them one single they drew names and Quinn and Santana had ended up with it. _

_Santana's mouth went dry at seeing Quinn in nothing but a towel. She looked every bit like the healthy sexy cheer leader that she had been. No pregnancy weight, no stretch marks. _

"_Thanks Lucy Q"_

_Quinn glared at her as Santana squeezed past her and into the bathroom not bothering to shut the door. Santana stood under the spray of the shower, breathing shallow as she listened for movement out side the bathroom. Her heart dropped into her stomach when she heard Quinn's voice._

"_Can we talk San?"_

_Quinn was sitting on the vanity fully clothed now. She knew that the only way to get Santana to talk was to a) make sure Santana couldn't run and b) make sure Santana didn't have to make eye contact._

"_Sure"_

_Quinn took a deep breath and closed her eyes, _

"_Why Brittany?"_

_Quinn waited with bated breath for Santana to register what it was she was asking, and then formulate an answer._

_No one, not even Brittany knew about the summer before freshman year. Santana and Quinn had met at cheer camp; and had formed an alliance with each other from the moment they had been dropped off. They would survive Sue Sylvester's hell for the next ten weeks, and they would do it together. It was mid way through cheer camp, when Quinn had caught Santana with tears streaming silently down her cheeks and her journal in her hands. _

_Quinn climbed in behind Santana and held her friend while she cried herself to sleep. The next morning Santana was dismissive towards the previous night, cold almost. So, that night Quinn called her on it,_

"_What the hell San, did I do something to offend you? Or are you on your period, because you've been a bitch all day."_

_Quinn stood with her hands on her hips, glaring daggers at Santana. Santana stood before her and let her eyes shamelessly rove over Quinn. Her eyes traveled from her dainty toes all the way up toned legs past the black sleep shorts and up a firm torso to settle on a pair of blazing green eyes._

_Santana bit her bottom lip and frowned slightly before strutting forward and placing her arms around Quinn resting her hands on her lower back as she pressed her lips against Quinn's. It was a fraction of a second before Quinn started to kiss back in earnest. And then it was over Santana was stood with her arms crossed over her chest and Quinn was left with her eyes closed her lips slightly parted. _

"_I like girls"_

_Santana whispered her confession with down cast eyes and a fresh set of tears. Quinn, shook her head of the haze that their kiss had left upon her and wrapped Santana up in a hug and led her to sit down as she whispered words of comfort to the distraught young girl. _

"_I know"_

"_Y…you do?"_

_Quinn nodded "I do, and it's okay"_

"_You can't tell anyone Q"_

"_Never San"_

_And from there, their bond was formed. The pair survived 'Sue Sylvester's Cheer Camp Hell' and attended William McKinley that fall, a solid front. Until mid October when Brittany had moved to Lima from Denver and joined the Cheerios. Santana had been taken from the moment her eyes had landed on the leggy blonde. And Quinn had always been jealous of that. _

_Now in New York nearly two years later Quinn wanted to know why, why it was Brittany…and, not her?_

"_Britt and I, we sort of just happened." Santana sighed and rinsed the shampoo out of her hair. She palmed some conditioner and started working it into her hair as she thought of how to really answer this question._

_She wasn't about to very well say that, she had picked Brittany over Quinn because that would admit the ever lingering truth that was always settled just beneath their friendship. They told themselves they were best friends because admitting that they loved each other was not an option._

"_We have a physical thing Q it's not like we're dating or in love or anything"_

_**Because I think I might be in love with you**_

_Santana thought as she rinsed body wash suds off of her skin._

_Santana finished her shower and was shocked to find Quinn leaning against the vanity her arms folded her gaze hard as she stared Santana down. Santana gulped and quickly wrapped a towel around her body and stepped out of the shower._

_The two girls stood before each other, Santana very interested in the bathroom floor tiles and Quinn burning holes into Santana's lowered head with her eyes. _

"_Santana…"_

_Santana's head shot up at the way her name breezed past Quinn's lips. Her eyebrows knit together in a deep scowl and she fixed Quinn with a fierce look. _

"_What was I supposed to think Q? I lost you the moment Finn gave you one of his constipated looking smiles and you got to feel normal."_

"_Yeah well I sure fucked that up didn't I?"_

_Quinn snarked out and ran her fingers through her hair. Santana went out into the main room and changed for bed Quinn hot on her heels. Santana was frustrated. She didn't want to talk about her feelings. _

"_Look Quinn, why are you so interested in my relationship with Britt-Britt anyways?"_

_She turned to face Quinn and was met with soft lips on hers tentative almost pleading. _

_Oh, that's why…._

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

New York had been one more thing that Santana had never told Brittany about. And so the unholy trinity remained unscathed until graduation. Santana and Quinn did what they did best, and ignored their growing mutual feelings for each other until graduation. Then Quinn went to New Haven, Santana went to New York and Brittany stayed behind, and everyone thought that when she had graduated Brittany was just going to go to follow Santana to New York instead she went to UCLA.

Brittany had her own dreams and her set of goals for her life. And she wanted like hell to share them with Santana, but; Santana didn't want to share with her. Brittany often wondered if Santana even knew _who _she really wanted to share things with.

Quinn had found some sort of closure on her feelings for Santana after high school. And yet years later that supposed closure was blown wide open and so ready to swallow her whole.

Quinn's feet pounded the pavement as she jogged. Her steps moving in time with the music in her ear buds, she pushed herself harder as she completed her 5k. She took the stairs to her apartment two at a time and let herself in.

She walked straight to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water rolling the cold plastic along her forehead and neck. She sighed and closed her eyes as she cooled down. It may have been late November but running 5k would make any one break a sweat.

She pulled out her ear buds and hung them around her neck. She finished off her bottle of water and tossed the bottle into the recycling bin and trudged down the hallway to her bedroom pulling off her top and tossing it into the dirty laundry hamper just outside of her closet.

She stepped into her bathroom and turned on the shower letting warm up and stripped off the rest of her clothes, she took a hopeful glance at her phone before stepping under the hot spray of the shower, she hadn't spoken to Santana in nearly a week.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Santana was not a lazy human being. She was good at pretending she was though. This was what Puck thought when he caught sight of her; in a tight black tank and dark blue jeans her hair straightened and flowing down her back. Laughing as she was slinging beers behind the bar of a local cop hang out he had to wonder,

"What the hell Lopez? Is this where you've been hiding?"

She gave Puck a wicked smile and handed him a beer,

"Where do you think all your beer comes from?"

"Uh, the store?"

"Yes but, it's paid for with my tips, and this body gets me's my tips"

He chuckled at her and sipped his beer. He chatted with a few work mates and glared at more than a few guys that were giving Santana 'fuck me' eyes. Santana worked at the bar a few nights a week and raked in some decent tips. She was tough enough to handle herself and sweet enough that the old regulars had no choice but to be taken captive by her charm.

Walking home hands fisted in their pockets against the November chill, Puck bit his bottom lip and exhaled audibly,

"So, have you talked to Quinn?"

Santana sped up and jogged down the stairs of the subway station, she wasn't in the mood for this conversation…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"My life goes on Rachel; I'm not a porcelain doll…"

Quinn sat across from Rachel at an out of the way café. She was idly stirring her water with her straw while Rachel was apologizing on behalf of Santana. It was true though. Yes they had sex, and when Quinn woke up to cool sheets and no note she couldn't say she was surprised.

Even if it had now been almost a month since they last spoke. Santana had avoided every single Sunday dinner and at each one Puck would give Quinn a sympathetic smile and shrug his shoulders. He didn't know what to say to her.

"Yes, but Quinn you slept together, and you cannot deny that you both have been practically dating for the last few months, even when you were with Jenn, you and Santana acted as more of a couple than you did with Jenn, and I mean she just cares about you so much, and you for her I just don't understand why you aren't more...I don't know upset?"

"Rache, first breathe, you're going to have a stroke, second, Santana is a big girl. But she's also her own worst enemy. So if she wants to pretend that she is incapable of any human connection other than being Puck's Lezbro then that's her issue, not mine."

Santana didn't do feelings, and Quinn understood that. Was she angry? Of course! Hurt, maybe a little. But she would not let Santana's insecurities ruin her. She had a job and a life to live which is what she was doing right now. She finished her lunch with Rachel telling her she would see her Sunday and headed back to St. Luke's.

If Santana wanted to talk then Santana would contact her, and Quinn wasn't about to hold her breath until then…

Two Sunday dinners had come and gone since lunch with Rachel and still no Santana…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Y'know kid, when I retire, I'm gonna go somewhere where it's hot all the damn time, none of this winter bullshit."

Tony was grumbling as he got out of the squad car he shared with Santana. The two had been partners for a while; Tony had taken Santana under his wing and shown Santana what it was that made a good cop. When she asked him why he had never gone past sergeant and had never done anything but work the streets, he answered.

"Back then it was all about making sure your neighborhood was safe, now a days I figured let the young guys take on all the plainclothes units and the ESU (S.W.A.T) stuff, leave me to my beat"

Santana wasn't shy about her intentions of moving to either a plainclothes unit or ESU. And she knew getting into heaven was easier for her than E.S.U. Tony had become her father away from home. If she wasn't spending Sunday dinners with her friends, she was having Sunday dinner with Tony and his wife Gloria.

"Tony, for a 6'3 Italian NYPD officer you sure are a whiney little shit you know that?"

Santana slammed her door shut and readjusted her gun belt as Tony rounded the rear of the car, meeting Santana at the trunk. Another squad car pulled up and another pair of officers got out.

Dispatch had gotten a rather harried 911 call about a man and his wife and kid. Tony took point, Santana backing him up and the other two officers going round back. Tony knocked on the door,

"Police, open up"

Nothing, Tony knocked again and was met with more silence. He tried the door and it was remarkably unlocked. Santana and Tony entered, the house was neat. Nothing was out of place.

Except for the lifeless female in the front room, Santana checked for a pulse and called it in before she and Tony continued to clear the main floor. Santana let the other two officers in and they followed Tony up the stairs,

As they started to clear the top floor, Santana heard an audible gasp form Tony. Santana stepped behind him and saw why. The man, no older than forty had a gun to his son's head. Santana could feel the blood rushing in her ears. Sweat started to pour down her back as she tightened her grip on her service weapon.

"Sir, I'm gonna need you to put down the gun"

Tony said quietly but firmly, his own weapon aimed right between the man's eyes. But he wasn't sure if he could get the shot off before the other man could.

"Shit"

Santana muttered.

"I didn't kill her, it was an accident I swear. God she just, she came at me. And I didn't know what to do! She told me he wasn't mine, and oh God."

The man was raging, his eyes wild tears running down his cheeks. He wasn't going down on his own. They just needed to get the kid to safety.

"Sir, how about we talk without your son in the room huh? He doesn't need to see or hear any of this, does he?"

Santana spoke calmly her weapon held stead fast on the man in front of her.

"He's not mine!"

The man yelled, and then everything happened so fast, there was a kid crying. The man holding him was screaming and yelling, gesturing with the gun. Tony was pleading with the suspect to drop his weapon. And then, two shots rang out louder than anything Santana had ever heard.

Tony was staring at Santana his service weapon hanging by his side his eyes wide. Santana stood unmoving almost looking past the scene before her. The boy was on the floor the man slumped over him.

Tony rested his hand over Santana's that clutched at her service weapon her knuckles white, lowering them he spoke softly,

"Come on kid, give me this thing"

The two officers that had come with them had retreated downstairs after the incident. Tony and Santana returned to the station and after her service weapon was remanded into custody she gave her statement.

It along with the three other statements collected all matched. Santana and Tony were given the rest of the week off and were told that they needed to be cleared by Psych before they came back to work.

Tony went home to his wife. Santana bought a forty of bourbon and walked around the city. She had missed six calls from Puck and two from Tony…she hadn't missed any from Quinn.

.

.

.

.

.

Quinn smiled at the girls behind the nurse's station and flipped through the first chart on the top of the pile. Her phone alerted her to another missed call from Puck. That was the fourth time he had called in at least ten minutes. It was nearly midnight what the hell did he want?

He hadn't left a voice mail, but this time there was a text message,

'_San 911'_

Quinn's blood ran cold…and she could have sworn that her heart had stopped right in that second. Tears immediately sprung to her eyes and began to sting. She took in a few deep breaths letting them out slowly as she went to the locker room and sat on the bench that divided the rows of lockers and shaky hands began dialing Puck.

"Quinn"

"Puck?"

She hated how small her voice sounded. She could barely get out the words before she started crying.

"Is…is she"

"No, but something happened during her shift yesterday and no one's seen her"

"What happened during her shift Noah?"

She heard Puck sigh a deep sigh and could almost picture him rubbing his head.

"Look just if you see her, don't let'er leave okay?"

"Ok Puck"

They ended the call and Quinn realized her shift was over. She got changed and as she walked to the metro station she tried to call Santana,

"I'm sorry the voicemail box is full, please try again later"

Quinn bit her bottom lip and cursed inwardly.

'_Dammit Santana'_

Quinn stepped into her apartment shaking the snow from her coat. She hung it up and stamped the snow from her boots as well. She nearly screamed when she turned around and saw Santana standing against the far wall hands behind her back. She looked tired like she hadn't slept in days. Quinn let her eyes travel from the untied boots up her legs over light blue jeans up her torso to where her Canada Goose bomber hung open to reveal a grey NYPD t-shirt, her badge glinting in the moonlight.

"Santana?"

Santana kept her gaze down and if it weren't for the silence of the room Quinn would have never heard the sniffle that left the woman across from her. Santana lifted her gaze, her eyes were red rimmed and she had tears streaming down her face. Quinn strode towards Santana quickly and reached out for the distraught woman. She cradled Santana's face in her hands and lifted her head so she could look at her.

"Santana Puck called me, he's worried"

Santana gripped Quinn's wrists almost tight enough to bruise and just sobbed barely able to keep herself upright.

"I couldn't stop him Quinn, I couldn't, and I tried"

Quinn brought them both to the floor and cradled Santana as she wept running her fingers through the disheveled pony tail and kissing her head repeatedly.

"Couldn't stop who?"

She whispered into Santana's hair. Santana inhaled a shaky breath and sighed. She was sat between Quinn's legs her back leaned against Quinn's chest with Quinn's arms wrapped tightly around her. She managed a rueful smile at what an ass hole she's been to Quinn.

Quinn was resting her chin on Santana's shoulder waiting for Santana to speak. Santana turned her head to look down at Quinn and their eyes met. Santana lowered her head slightly and slanted her lips over Quinn's.

Quinn could taste the traces of bourbon and cigarette smoke, and made a mental note to give Santana shit about smoking. Santana's fingers threaded through Quinn's hair resting on the back of her head holding her in place as their kiss deepened. The two stood and Santana started walking them back towards the hall way that lead to Quinn's bedroom

Quinn pushed Santana's jacket off her shoulders and it fell to the floor with a muted thud and she wrapped her arms around Santana's neck pulling her closer. Santana's hands travel up the back of Quinn's top lifting it up and off her body. Santana trailed hot open mouthed kisses over and along the top of Quinn's breasts and up her collar bone to her neck.

Quinn's bra was tossed to a far corner of Quinn's bedroom along with Santana's t-shirt. Santana gripped the back of Quinn's thighs and she fell back onto her bed. Quinn tugged her forward by her badge that was hanging between them and ran her tongue over Santana's bottom lip she tugged and nipped at it with her teeth until Santana kissed her full on the lips, her tongue seeking out Quinn's.

Quinn removed Santana's badge from around her neck and placed it on the bedside table. Santana kissed Quinn on the mouth again before making her way down her body tugging off her pants and underwear. Santana stopped for a moment. Kneeling back against her heels, and she took in the woman in front of her. Quinn was lying on her back; chest heaving thighs spread giving Santana a clear view of her, wet and throbbing.

After Santana's reverent moment, she ran her hands up from Quinn's ankles, along the outsides of trembling thighs, and grasped Quinn's hips pulling her further down on the bed. Santana hooked her arms around Quinn's thighs so they rested on her shoulders and gave her a long slow lick.

Santana didn't say 'sorry' often, and if she had to choose the best way she could say it to Quinn for her behaviour of late she couldn't think of a better way than to have her tongue buried deep inside of her thrusting and curling against her. Quinn had her fingers tangled in Santana's hair tugging and clenching through her orgasm in time with the clenching of her inner walls around Santana's tongue.

Santana was blazing a trail back up Quinn's body with her lips and teeth, while Quinn caught her breath. Santana nuzzled into Quinn's neck and ghosted her lips along her jaw line before settling against the skin just behind her ear.

"I killed a man today, he shot his son in front of us, and then I killed him"

Quinn's arms wrapped themselves tightly around Santana's back and held her against her body. She felt the tell tale signs of sobbing when Santana's body began to shake and Quinn felt wetness against the skin of her shoulder.

Santana's tears subsided and she leaned up to make eye contact with Quinn. She let Quinn roll them over slowly so that Quinn was settled on top of Santana. Quinn made quick work of the rest of Santana's clothes and forgave her without words. Just her hands on Santana's skin and her lips pressing firm kisses where ever she could.

Santana's eyes opened the next morning her eyes lids fluttering like in some bad romance novel. Her pupils dilated to accept the sunlight streaming in though Quinn's bedroom window. She felt goose bumps rise along her spine, where Quinn was trailing her fingers along the skin there. She rolled over on to her left side to face Quinn and smiled. Quinn kept drawing small lazy circles over Santana's spine.

"Hi"

Quinn whispered against Santana's lips as she leaned forward for a soft kiss, Santana smiled and rolled Quinn on to her back, kissing along her throat.

Before Santana could get too carried away, Quinn pushed her away gently. Santana sighed and rolled off of Quinn swinging her legs off the bed her feet planted firmly on the floor, Santana lowered her head and clenched her jaw, her entire body wound up tight. Quinn could see ever muscle outlined in Santana's back. She leaned on her left side and traced the contours of Santana's shoulder blades, waiting for her to speak,

"I can't do this with you Quinn"

"Do what Santana?"

"Be with you"

And there it was, out loud for the world to hear. A truth that Quinn had always known, Santana was her own worst enemy. For some reason that Quinn just did not understand Santana felt that she was not meant to have love in her life.

Quinn let out an exasperated breath and got out of bed, she wrapped herself in a bed sheet and stormed out of her room in stony silence, she was done with Santana's bullshit. Santana could hear her opening and closing (slamming) cupboard doors shut. She heard the fridge open and close. While Quinn angrily made coffee Santana found her clothes and got dressed, she padded out to the living room and looked out at the city from the bay window. Quinn watched the slight slump in Santana's posture and the way she hung her head. Quinn clenched her jaw, and glared.

"You know what Lopez, I call bullshit"

She folded her arms across her chest, and glared daggers at Santana as she turned to face her. And even with that desolate expression on her face, Quinn wouldn't budge,

Santana's mouth opened and closed no words coming out; she didn't know what to say. Quinn strode forward, and took Santana's face between her hands, forcing her to look at her.

"Why can't you be with me, is that you don't do feelings, or relationships, which one is it Santana?"

Santana tried to look away but Quinn wouldn't allow it.

"What are you so afraid of?"

Santana pressed her lips to Quinn's forehead and whispered,

"You, I'm afraid of you"

Santana let her fingers trail along Quinn's jaw line as her eyes trailed over every laugh line and freckle on Quinn's face.

"I'm afraid of how in love with you I am, I'm afraid of how addictive your lips are, I'm afraid of wanting a future with you, because it terrifies me that I could not come home from work one day."

Silent tears slipped down Quinn's cheeks as she squeezed her eyes shut at the bursting feeling in her chest. She rested her forehead against Santana's and gave a choked laugh through her tears.

"Say something, please…"

Quinn smiled a wide smile and pressed her lips firmly against Santana's,

"I love you too"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

It was now mid afternoon, Santana's clothes had found their way back onto Quinn's bedroom floor several hours ago, and now they were sitting astride each other the sheets bunched up around them, Quinn was holding out a spoonful of ice-cream for Santana to take into her mouth.

"You should consider yourself lucky; I never eat ice cream for lunch"

Quinn said pointedly as Santana took the proffered spoon into her mouth.

"Really? It's like the greatest lunch food ever though"

Ever the lady, Santana had barely swallowed before talking, Quinn leaned forward for a kiss, her tongue slipping past Santana's lips tasting the chocolate and Santana.

"Mm, hi"

Santana kissed Quinn once more and smiled,

"Hi"

They were far from perfect, Quinn knew that…and that was okay.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

a/n: So, chapter VI here, I have a bit of an idea about where I'm going to go with this, and what I want to happen. Santana is Santana after all, and all that tough chick stuff isn't all an act, so there will be a few bumpy times, because Quinn isn't one to back down from a fight, especially with Santana….so I make no promises for when CHVII will be up, like I said real life is kind of intense and even though I would love to hide in my laptop, apparently I'm a grown up so... drop me a follow on twitter it would be oh so nice of y'all…

sarahrebeccayp and thanx for the love and such, it warms my heart with all the crap that's been going on lately :D


End file.
